搞笑的英语句子

关于搞笑的中式英语句子

关于搞笑的中式英语句子

　　在生活、工作和学*中，大家肯定对各类句子都很熟悉吧，句子的组成部分，包括主语、谓语、宾语、定语、状语、补语六种。句子的类型多样，你所见过的句子是什么样的呢？以下是小编收集整理的搞笑的中式英语句子，希望能够帮助到大家。

　　01．we two who and who？

　　咱俩谁跟谁阿

　　02．how are you ? how old are you?

　　怎么是你，怎么老是你？

　　03．you don`t bird me,I don`t bird you

　　你不鸟我，我也不鸟你

　　04．you have seed I will give you some color to see see,brothers! together up!

　　你有种，我要给你点颜色瞧瞧，兄弟们，一起上！

　　05．hello everybody!if you have something to say,then say!if you have nothing to say,go home!

　　有事起奏，无事退朝

　　06．you me you me

　　彼此彼此

　　07．You Give Me Stop!

　　你给我站住！

　　08．know is know noknow is noknow

　　知之为知之，不知为不知……

　　09．WATCH SISTER

　　表妹

　　10．dragon born dragon,chicken born chicken,mouse'son can make hole!

　　龙生龙，凤生凤，老鼠的.儿子会打洞！

　　11．American Chinese not enough

　　美中不足

　　12．one car come one car go,two car pengpeng,people die

　　车祸现场描述

　　13．heart flower angry open

　　心花怒放

　　14．go past no mistake past

　　走过路过，不要错过

　　15．小明：I am sorry!

　　老外：I am sorry too!

　　小明：I am sorry three!

　　老外：What are you sorry for?

　　小明：I am sorry five!

　　16．If you want money,I have no;

　　if you want life,I have one!

　　要钱没有，要命一条

　　17．I call Li old big.toyear 25.

　　我叫李老大，今年25。

　　18．you have two down son。

　　你有两下子

　　19．as far as you go to die

　　有多远，死多远！

　　20．I give you face you don``t wanna face,you lose you face,I turn my face

　　给你脸你不要脸，你丢脸，我翻脸

　　21.no three no four

　　不三不四

　　22.seven up eight down

　　七上八下

　　1.Know is know,no know is no know,it's know.知之为知之，不知为不知，是知也。

搞笑英语句子

搞笑英语句子

　　在现实生活或工作学*中，许多人对一些广为流传的句子都不陌生吧，句子是由词或词组构成的语言基本运用单位。句子的类型有很多，你都知道吗？下面是小编为大家整理的搞笑英语句子，欢迎阅读，希望大家能够喜欢。

　　01. 人生的最大遗憾莫过于错误地坚持了不该坚持的，轻易地放弃了不该放弃的……

　　The most regret ion of live is insist on something that shouldn’t be insisted on,give up something that shouldn’t be given up

　　02. 大师兄，你知道吗?二师兄的肉现在比师傅的都贵了。

　　Tang Monk/Tang Priest,don’t you know piggy is more valuable than you? (The Pilgrimage to the West)

　　03. 怀才就像怀孕，时间长了才能看出来。

　　Having knowledge likes having pregnant,it takes times to be awareness.

　　04. 还能冲动，表示你还对生活有激情，总是冲动，表示你还不懂生活。

　　If you acts on impulse,you have passions in life,if you always acts on impulse,you don’t know what life is.

　　05. 我问一个在深圳工作了二十年的朋友：“如果你死后，你的墓志铭打算写点啥?”他说：“我解决了住房问题!”

　　I asked a question to a friend who has been working in Shenzhen for 20 years,what would be the proudest things in your life if you died? He said:I have already pay back the mortgage loan of my department.

　　06. 妈妈说人最好不要错过两样东西，最后一班回家的车和一个深爱你的人。

　　Mom said you’d better not miss two things ,the last bus to home and the person who loves you dee*.

　　07. 一天看到一位大妈在烧纸，边烧边嘟囔着：收到了全都买基金吧。

　　One day I saw a old woman was burning paper money and mumbled:buy funds if you get it.

　　08. 好的爱情是你透过一个男人看到世界，坏的爱情是你为了一个人舍弃世界……

　　A good love is you find the world for a man;a bad love is you abandon the world for a man.

　　09. 诸葛亮出山前，也没带过兵!凭啥我就要工作经验?

　　Before Liang Zhuge coming out,he didnt have experience in leading the army! why i should have experience when look for a job?

　　10. 如果你看到面前的阴影，别怕，那是因为你的背后有阳光……

　　If you saw the dark in front of you,dont be afriad,that's because sunshine is at your back.

　　1.Money is not everything.There‘s Mastercard & Visa.

　　2.One should love animals.They are so tasty.

　　3.Love the neighbor.But don‘t get caught.

　　4.Behind every successful man,there is a woman.And behind every unsuccessful man,there are two.

　　5.Every man should marry.After all,happiness is not the only thing in life.

　　6.The wise never marry,And when they marry they become otherwise.

　　7.Success is a relative term.It brings so many relatives.

　　8.Never put off the work till tomorrow what you can put off today.

　　9.Love is photogenic.It needs darkness to develop.

　　10.Children in backseats cause accidents.Accidents in backseats cause children.

　　11."Your future depends on your dreams." So go to sleep.

　　12.There should be a better way to start a day than waking up every morning.

　　13."Hard work never kills anybody." But why take the risk? "

　　14."Work fascinates me." I can look at it for hours! "

　　15.God made relatives;Thank God we can choose our friends.

　　16.When two‘s company,three‘s the result!

　　17.A dress is like a barbed fence.It protects the premises without restricting the view.

　　18.Themore you learn,the more you know,The more you know,the more youforget.The more you forget,the less you know.So why bother to learn.

　　1、 When did you watch television？

　　2、 Robert bought a new bookcase last month.

　　3、 Did you watch the match last night？

　　4、 He arrived the week before last.

　　5、 The train was nine minutes late.

　　6、 Did you wash your hands before the meal？

　　7、 I arrived here one hour ago.

　　8、 You missed the last train.

　　1. Sometimes love is not enough when the road gets tough.

　　有时候，当生活的路越来越艰难时，只有爱就不够了。

　　2. The best kind of feelings in life are the ones you can't explain.

搞笑英语格言

搞笑英语格言（精选105句）

　　格言，是指可以作为人们行为规范的言简意赅的语句，是人们机智的精华，众人汇成的睿智，是指导人生走向成功之路的法宝，时刻激励人生取得进步。下面是小编收集整理的搞笑英语格言，希望大家喜欢

　　1、The more you learn,the more you know, The more you know, themoreyou forget. The more you forget, the leyou know. So why botherto learn?

　　学的越多，知道的越多；知道的越多，忘记的越多；忘记的越多，知道的越少，为什么学来着？

　　2、One should love animals. They are so tasty.

　　每个人都应该热爱动物，因为它们很好吃。

　　3、God made relatives; Thank God we can choose our friends.

　　上帝决定了谁是你的亲戚，幸运的是在选择朋友方面他给你留了余地。

　　4、love alone could waken love!

　　只有爱才能唤醒爱!

　　5、If I could rearrange the alphabet, Id put U and I together.

　　如果我可以重排字母表，我会把你和我放在一起。

　　7、Man: Have we met somewhere before?

　　我们之前在哪个地方见过吧？

　　8、Love is photogenic. It needs darkneto develop.

　　爱情就像照片，需要大量的暗房时间来培养。

　　9、″Hard work never killed anybody."?But why take the risk?

　　“努力工作不会导致死亡！”不过我不会用自己去证明。

　　10、Behind every successful man, there is a woman. And behindeveryunsuccessful man, there are two.

　　每个成功男人的背后，都有一个女人；每个不成功男人的背后，都有两个。

　　1、humor, can saying is give people a subtle sense of dispensing the spice of life. For some light humor, can make the atmosphere of the time to change, make the stalled suddenly solve unsolved. - Masayoshi Ohira

　　幽默：可以说是能给人以微妙感的调剂生活的佐料。由于某种轻巧的幽默，就可以使当时的气氛为之改观，使陷于僵局的悬案豁然解决。——日·大*正芳

　　2、the sense of humour is a sense. Li, Ji Bolun

　　幽默感就是分寸感。——黎·纪泊伦

　　3、the humor and wit is the flash of wisdom. -- Indira Shakespeare

　　幽默和风趣是智慧的闪现。——英·莎士比亚

　　4、the humor comes from wisdom, verbal abuse from incompetence. - pine forest

　　幽默来自智慧，恶语来自无能。——松林

　　5、humor is that workers have confidence in their own career and show the advantage of the signs of their own. -- Engels

　　幽默是表明工人对自己事业具有信心并且表明自己占着优势的标志。——*

　　6、humor is not willing to institutional absurdity. - Usher

　　幽默是不肯正经其事的荒谬感。——厄谢尔

　　7、humor is so gorgeous costumes, is how loyal guard! It is always better than the poet and writer's wisdom; it is itself a talent, it can eliminate ignorance. -- Scott

　　幽默是多么艳丽的服饰，又是何等忠诚的卫士!它永远胜过诗人和作家的智慧;它本身就是才华，它能杜绝愚昧。——司各特

　　8、 humor is the wisdom, moral education and the excellent performance of. -- de Engels

　　幽默是具有智慧、教育和道德上优越的表现。——德·*

　　9、humor is the nature of man, it might change one of the atmosphere, but can not change the life of pain. -- Guo Chen

　　幽默是人的本性，它或许可以改变一时的气氛，却改变不了一生的痛苦。——郭辰

　　10、humor is the life waves buoy. -- spreading

　　幽默是生活波涛中的救生圈。——拉布

　　11、humor is all the light of wisdom, shining in the middle of the ancient and modern philosophers spirituality. Where the quality of humor, are smart perspicacious. They will solve all the difficult problems with the humorous wrist, and every kind of things arranged to take it leisurely and unoppressively, be just perfect. -- Qian Renkang

　　幽默是一切智慧的光芒，照耀在古今哲人的灵性中间。凡有幽默的素养者，都是聪敏颖悟的。他们会用幽默手腕解决一切困难问题，而把每一种事态安排得从容不迫，恰到好处。——钱仁康

　　12、humor is a beautiful, healthy quality. May you make up your own humor. Lenin -- the former Soviet Union

　　幽默是一种优美的、健康的品质。愿你让自己幽默起来。——前苏联·列宁

　　13、humor and serious mutual inspection stone, because is not willing to accept the good jokes, which have doubts, but could not resist to joke must also be wisdom. -- Gaulke Asia

　　幽默与严肃互为验石，因为不愿接受善意的玩笑，其中必有疑处，而经不住审度的玩笑也一定是智慧。——高尔克亚

　　14、there are many real word of in joke. -- Swift

　　有许多真实的话都是在笑话中讲出来的。——斯威夫特

　　15、The joke to deal with the enemy, is a natural good tactics, but the contact point, must be the opponent's fatal injury, otherwise, the end is nothing but a joke just kidding. -- Lu Xun

　　用玩笑来应付敌人，自然也是一种好战法，但触着之处，须是对手的致命伤，否则，玩笑终不过是一种单单的玩笑而已。——鲁迅

　　16、a truly humorous people don't have understanding, readily only laugh, smile for cold, dreary life breath. -- Qian Zhongshu

雷人搞笑英语笑话

雷人搞笑英语笑话（通用12篇）

　　笑话是指一句短语或一个小故事让说话者和听者之间觉得好笑，下面是小编收集整理的雷人搞笑英语笑话（通用12篇），希望大家喜欢。

　　At a pre-med university in St. Louis, we had to take a difficult class in physics. One day the professor was discussing a particularly complicated concept. A student rudely interrupted to ask Why do we have to learn this stuff?

　　To save lives. The professor responded quickly and continued the lecture. A few minutes later, the same student spoke up again. So how does physics save lives? he persisted. It usually keeps the idiots like you out of medical school, replied the professor.

　　在圣路易斯的一所医学院预科大学，学生必须修一门很难的物理课。一天，教授正在探讨一个特别复杂的概念，一个学生粗鲁地打断他的话，问道：为什么我们一定要学这种东西?

　　为了救人。教授很快回答，继续讲课。几分钟后，那个学生再次大声坚持：那么物理怎么救人呢?教授回答：它通常可以把你这种笨蛋赶出医学院。

　　Peter joined the army when he was eighteen, and for several months he was taught how to be a good soldier. He did quite well in everything except shooting.

　　One day he and his friends were practicing their shooting, and all of them were doing quite well except Peter. After he had shot at the target nine times and had not hit it once, the officer who was trying to teach the young soldiers to shoot said, You're quite hopeless, Peter! Don't waste your last bullet too! Go behind that wall and shoot yourself with it!

　　Peter felt ashamed. He went behind the wall, and a few seconds later the officer and the other young soldiers heard the sound of a shot.

　　Heavens! The officer said. Has that silly man really shot himself?

　　He ran behind the wall anxiously, but Peter was all right. I'm sorry, sir, he said, but I missed again.

　　彼得十八岁那年参了军，他需要参加几个月的学*以成为一名好士兵。彼得在其他方面都做得很好，但是射击不行。

　　一天他和伙伴们练*射击，除了彼得其他人都没有问题。他射了九次，一次也没有命中目标。这时，教新兵射击的教官说：彼得，你看来是没希望了，不要连最后一发子弹都浪费掉!去那堵墙后面用它向自己打一枪吧。

　　彼得感到非常惭愧。他走到那堵墙后面。几分钟后，教官和新兵们听到一声枪响。

　　上帝!教官叫起来，难道那个笨蛋真的朝自己开枪了?

　　他急忙跑到那堵墙后面，发现彼得安然无恙。对不起，长官，他说，我还是没有命中。

　　A patient said to his doctor, "Doc, please give me something that will stimulate me, excite me, and put me in a, very, very highly stimulated spirit, a fighting, excited spirit."

　　So the doctor said, "Don't worry, take this, and after you see the bill, you will have all these feelings."

　　病人跟医生说：“医生，请给我一些可以振奋、刺激、充满斗志的药。”

　　医生说：“别担心，这个拿去，看到这张帐单以后，你要的这些就都会有了。”

　　Three turtles decided to have a cup of coffee.

　　三只乌龟决定去喝咖啡。

　　Just as they got into the cafe, it started to rain.

　　它们刚到咖啡店的门口，就下起雨来。

　　The biggest turtle said to the smallest one, " Go home and get the umbrella."

　　于是最大的`那只乌龟对最小的乌龟说，“你回家去取伞吧。”

　　The little turtle replied, "I will, if you don't drink my offee."

　　最小的乌龟说，“如果你们不把我的咖啡喝了，我就去。”

　　"We won't," the other two promised.

　　“我们不喝，”另外两只乌龟答应说。

　　Two years later the big turtle said to the middle turtle, "Well, I guess he isn't coming back, so we might as well drink his coffee."

　　两年后，大乌龟对中乌龟说，“好吧，我猜他肯定不回来了，我们可以把它的咖啡喝掉了。”

　　Just then a voice called from outside the door, "If you do, I won't go."

　　正在这时，一个声音从门外传来，“你们要是喝了，我就不去。”

　　The notorious cheap skate finally decided to have a party. Explaining to a friend how to find his apartment, he said, "Come up to the fifth floor and ring the doorbell with your elbow. When the door open, push with your foot."

　　"Why use my elbow and foot?"

　　"Well, gosh," was the re*, "You're not coming empty-handed, are you?"

　　一个声名狼藉的小气鬼终于决定要请一次客了。他在向一个朋友解释怎么找到他家时说：“你上到五楼，用你的胳膊肘按门铃。门开了后，再用你的脚把门推开。”

　　“为什么我要用我的肘和脚呢?”

　　“天哪!” 吝啬鬼回答，“你总不会空着手来吧?”

　　"So you want another day off,”snorted the teacher to his student，Tom.“I am anxious to hear what excuse you have this time. You have been off for your grandfather's funeral four times already.”

　　“这么说，你又要请一天假，”老师怒气冲冲地对他的学生汤姆说，“我倒想知道你这次找什么借口。你已经请了四次假说去参加你爷爷的葬礼。”

　　Tom replied，"Today my grandma is getting married again.”

　　汤姆回答说:“今天是我奶奶再次举行婚礼。”

　　Midway Tactics

　　Three competing store owners rented adjoining shops in a mall. Observers waited for mayhem to ensue.

　　The retailer on the right put up huge signs saying, "Gigantic Sale!" and "Super Bargains!"

　　The store on the left raised bigger signs proclaiming, "Prices Slashed!" and "Fantastic Discounts!"

　　The owner in the middle then prepared a large sign that sim* stated, "ENTRANCE".

　　中间战术

　　三个互相争生意的商店老板在一条商业街上租用了毗邻的店铺。旁观者等着瞧好戏。

搞笑的英语名言

1、别人的钱财乃我的身外之物！

Other people's money is my life a thing apart！

2、要在江湖混，最好是光棍！

In the river's lake， preferably bachelor！

3、不怕被人利用，就怕你没用！

Is afraid of being used but you don't！

4、不是变化快，而是你太菜。

Not change quickly， but you are too。

5、长得真有创意，活得真有勇气！

Long is really creative， live really h*e the courage！

6、废话是人际关系的第一句！

Nonsense is the interpersonal relations the first sentence！

7、不要和我比懒，我懒得和你比。

Don't than lazy with me， I'm too lazy to than with you。

8、英雄不问出路，流氓不看岁数。

Heroes do not ask a way out， the rogue don't look at age。

9、人生自古谁无死，哪个拉屎不用纸！

Everyone must die， which shit is not paper！

10、老娘法眼一开就知道你是个妖孽了。

The old niang eyes opened， you will know a uber。

11、我又不是人民币，怎么能让人人都喜欢我？

I'm not RMB， how can let everyone like me？

12、别跟我谈感情，谈感情伤钱。

Don't talk to me about feelings， talk about feelings hurt money。

13、婚姻的杀手有时不是外遇，而是时间。

Sometimes the killer of marriage is not an affair， but time。

14、只要锄头舞的好，那有墙角挖不倒？

As long as the hoe dance well， there's the corner dug to fail？

15、没有钱，没有权，再不对你好点，你能跟我？

No money， no power， don't point to you， can you tell me？

16、真的猛士，敢于直面自己未化妆的脸。

Really br*e warrior， dare to face her face without makeup。

17、他们说我是bt，让我去做ct，结果我是et。

They say I'm a bt， let me to do ct， the result I am et。

18、没有不透风的墙，没有不能上吊的梁。

No windtight wall， no can't commit * by hanging of beam。

19、令人不能自拔的，除了牙齿还有爱情。

A cannot extricate oneself， in addition to the teeth with love。

20、我那么喜欢你，你喜欢我一下会死埃。

I like you， so you like me will die。

21、人如果靠吃饭活着，那饭不叫饭，叫饲料。

If they eat to live， that rice not call rice， called the feed。

22、帅有个屁用！到头来还不是被卒吃掉！

Handsome h*e a fart to use！ In the end is not eaten by single！

23、作为一个怪兽，我的愿望是至少消灭一个奥特曼。

As a monster， my wish is to eliminate at least one ultraman。

24、天赐你一双翅膀，就应该被红烧…

Gift you a pair of wings， you should be to braise in soy sauce……

25、英雄难过美人关，我不是英雄，美人让我过了关。

Hero sad beauty pass， I am not a hero， a beauty let me close。

26、怀才就像怀孕，时间久了才能让人看出来。

古诗翻译成英语的句子 有点搞笑的句子

古诗里面的寓意深远，意境唯美，但是翻译成英文后意思却变了，变得很普通还带着一点搞笑。【古诗翻译成英语的句子 有点搞笑的句子】

1、苏轼《水调歌头》但愿人长久，千里共婵娟

So let us wish that man will live long as he can!Though miles apart,well share the beauty she dis*s.

2、李清照的《声声慢》寻寻觅觅，冷冷清清，凄凄惨惨戚戚

So dim, so dark,So dense, so dull.So damp, so dank, so dead!

3、元稹的《离思》曾经沧海难为水，除却巫山不是云.取次花丛懒回顾，半缘修道半缘君。

No water is comparable to the green sea;No cloud to the clouds of Mt Wu.No woman is worthy of my backward glance:Partly due to ascetic practice, partly you.

4、李商隐的《无题》相见时难别亦难，东风无力百花残

Hard it was to meet you hard as well to say goodbye.The east wind's powerless, all flowers die.

5、马致远《天净沙 秋思》枯藤老树昏鸦，小桥流水人家。古道西风瘦马，夕阳西下，断肠人在天涯。

Over old trees wreathed with rotten vines fly evening crows;Under a small bridge near a cottage a stream flows;One ancient road in the west wind a lean horse goes.Westward declines the sun，Far, far from home is the heartbroken one.

英语句子大全

　　无论是在学校还是在社会中，大家对句子都再熟悉不过了吧，从句法角度说，句子是使最大的语法单位。什么样的句子才经典呢？以下是小编收集整理的英语句子，希望能够帮助到大家。

　　Better luck next time.

　　祝你下一次好运。

　　Can you make it?

　　你能来吗?

　　Don't let me down.

　　别让我失望。

　　No man or woman is worth your tears, and the one who is, won't make you cry.

　　没有人值得你流泪，值得让你这么做的人不会让你哭泣。

　　Better safe than sorry.

　　小心不出大错。

　　Don't take it for granted.

　　不要想当然。

　　Don't jump to conclusions.

　　不要急于下结论。

　　Can I have a word with you?

　　我能跟你谈一谈吗?

　　Do you have a room available?

　　你们有空房间吗?

　　Are you used to the food here?

　　你*惯吃这儿的饭菜吗?

　　Be my guest.

　　请便/别客气。

　　Dinner is on me.

　　晚饭我请客。

　　Did you enjoy your flight?

　　你的飞行旅途愉快吗?

　　Easy come,easy go.

　　来得容易，去得快。

　　Are you free tomorrow?

　　你明天有空吗?

　　All I have to do is learn English.

　　我所要做的就是学英语。

　　Can I have a day off?

　　我能请一天假吗?

　　For here or to go?

　　再这儿吃还是带走?

　　Have you finished yet?

　　你做完了吗?

　　Did you have fun?

　　你玩得开心吗?

　　Give me a call.

　　给我打电话。

　　Cheer up!

　　高兴起来!振作起来!

　　Do you have any hobbies?

　　你有什么爱好?

　　Are you married?

　　你结婚了吗?

　　Don't take any chances.

　　不要心存侥幸。

搞笑的英文句子

　　WhatIwant，isshameless.Whattoeat，isnotlose.搞笑的英文句子还有哪些呢？下面由美文网小编带来的搞笑的英文句子，欢迎阅读！

　　搞笑的英文句子精选

　　01.人生的最大遗憾莫过于错误地坚持了不该坚持的，轻易地放弃了不该放弃的……

　　Themostregretionofliveisinsistonsomethingthatshouldn’tbeinsistedon，giveupsomethingthatshouldn’tbegivenup

　　02.大师兄，你知道吗？二师兄的肉现在比师傅的都贵了。

　　TangMonk/TangPriest，don’tyouknowpiggyismorevaluablethanyou？(ThePilgrimagetotheWest)

　　03.怀才就像怀孕，时间长了才能看出来。

　　H*ingknowledgelikesh*ingpregnant，ittakestimestobeawareness.

　　04.还能冲动，表示你还对生活有激情，总是冲动，表示你还不懂生活。

　　Ifyouactsonimpulse，youh*epassionsinlife，ifyoualwaysactsonimpulse，youdon’tknowwhatlifeis.

　　05.我问一个在深圳工作了二十年的朋友：“如果你死后，你的墓志铭打算写点啥？”他说：“我解决了住房问题！”

　　IaskedaquestiontoafriendwhohasbeenworkinginShenzhenfor20years，whatwouldbetheproudestthingsinyourlifeifyoudied？Hesaid:Ih*ealreadypaybackthemortgageloanofmydepartment.

　　06.妈妈说人最好不要错过两样东西，最后一班回家的车和一个深爱你的人。

　　Momsaidyou’dbetternotmisstwothings，thelastbustohomeandthepersonwholovesyoudee*.

　　07.一天看到一位大妈在烧纸，边烧边嘟囔着：收到了全都买基金吧~~

　　OnedayIsawaoldwomanwasburningpapermoneyandmumbled:buyfundsifyougetit.

　　08.好的爱情是你透过一个男人看到世界，坏的爱情是你为了一个人舍弃世界……

　　Agoodloveisyoufindtheworldforaman;abadloveisyouabandontheworldforaman.

　　09.诸葛亮出山前，也没带过兵！凭啥我就要工作经验？

　　BeforeLiangZhugecomingout，hedidnth*eexperienceinleadingthearmy！whyishouldh*eexperiencewhenlookforajob？

　　10.如果你看到面前的阴影，别怕，那是因为你的背后有阳光……

　　Ifyousawthedarkinfrontofyou，dontbeafriad，that'sbecausesunshineisatyourback.

　　开心学英语，开心生活！H*eaniceday！

　　搞笑的英文九库说说

　　1、Thewisenevermarry，Andwhentheymarrytheybecomeotherwise.

　　聪明人都是未婚的，结婚的人很难再聪明起来。

　　2、Whentwo'scompany，three'stheresult！

　　两个人的状态是不稳定的，三个人才是！

　　3、Successisarelativeterm.Itbrings*nyrelatives.

　　成功是一个相关名词，他会给你带来很多不相关的亲戚(联系)。

　　4、Themoreyoulearn，themoreyouknow，Themoreyouknow，themoreyouforget.Themoreyouforget，thelessyouknow.Sowhybothertolearn.

　　学的越多，知道的越多，知道的越多，忘记的越多，忘记的越多，知道的越少，为什么学来着？

　　5、S*ewater.Showerwithyourgirlfriend.

　　要节约用水，尽量和女友一起洗澡。

　　6、Thereshouldbeabetterwaytostartadaythanwakingupeverymorning.

　　应该有更好的方式开始新一天，而不是千篇一律的在每个上午都醒来。

　　7、Godmaderelatives;ThankGodwecanchooseourfriends.

　　神决定了谁是你的亲戚，幸运的是在选择朋友方面他给了你留了余地。

　　8、Adressislikeabarbedfence.Itprotectsthepremiseswithoutrestrictingtheview.

　　服饰就象铁丝网，它阻止你贸然行动但并不妨碍你尽情的观看。

　　9、“Hardworkneverkilledanybody.”Butwhytaketherisk？“

　　”努力工作不会导致死亡！“不过我不会用自己去证明。

　　10、Everymanshouldmarry.Afterall，happinessisnottheonlythinginlife.

　　再快乐的单身汉迟早也会结婚，幸福不是永久的嘛。

　　11、Oneshouldloveanimals.Theyaresotasty.

　　每个人都应该热爱动物，因为它们很好吃。

　　12、Behindeverysuccessfulman，thereisawoman.Andbehindeveryunsuccessfulman，therearetwo.

　　每个成功男人的背后，都有一个女人。每个不成功男人的背后，都有两个。

　　13、Childreninbackseatscauseaccidents.Accidentsinbackseatscausechildren.

　　后排座位上的小孩会生出意外，后排座位上的意外会生出小孩。

　　14、Loveisphotogenic.Itneedsdarknesstodevelop.

搞笑语言句子大全（经典搞笑语句）

一、喜欢你的人会对你说我洗澡去了，之后还会说我洗完了，不喜欢你的人在说完我去洗澡后，仿佛消失在浴室中。

二、热恋时，情侣们常感叹上辈子积了什么德；结婚后，夫妻们常怀疑上辈子造了什么孽。

三、老婆在朋友圈发了条动态：坚持锻炼，每天3万步，棒棒哒。为了谎言不被戳穿，每天晚上让我带着她的手机去跑步，不达标不让回来。

四、我抽烟的理由很简单：我爷爷抽烟，我爸爸也抽烟，轮到我不能断了香火。

五、你们见过最土豪的是什么事？我来说一个，今天看见一人去营业厅充话费，问充多少，他瞟了营业员一眼，说：充满！

六、儿子今天来办公室耍，一女同事逗他说：好帅哟。儿子也对女同事说：姐姐好漂亮。说完他马上跑我面前认错：爸爸，对不起我又撒谎了，全公司同事笑喷了。

七、现在超想把房子卖了去旅游，可房东死活不愿意。

八、我不想再去上学了，老师整天问我这道题怎么做，那道题怎么做的，是我教他还是他教我啊！

九、那天在网上看到一条神回复，楼主抛出一个问题：请说出自己最常丢的三样东西。下面评论中有一人回答：脸，爸妈的脸，老师的脸。

十、朋友都说我是着名的音乐人，因为每次出去唱歌，他们唱的都是别人的曲调，只有我自己是现场谱曲！

十一、道理我都懂，可是听到别人喊美女的时候还是忍不住要回头。

十二、小时候比学*成绩，长大后比工资收入，现在连走个路都要比步数！放过我吧，我只想做一个与世无争的垃圾，可等我真的做了垃圾才发现，居然连垃圾都要分类！

十三、看见别人都那么努力，那么勤奋，那么意气风发地走在成功的路上，你问问自己，难道就不想成为他们的绊脚石吗？

十四、我觉得白雪公主之所以命运坎坷，是因为身边小人太多。

十五、某条街上有个乞丐，每天都在那里乞讨。一日某人忽然发现乞丐身边多了一个碗可又没人。某人好奇，便上前去问：“为什么你放两个碗？”那乞丐笑了笑道：“不知怎么滴最*生意特好，所以开了家分公司。”

十六、你们最好选择在中午秀恩爱，知道为什么吗？因为早晚会有报应。

十七、轻轻拍拍自己的小肚子，告诉它：你不胖，你只是珍珠奶茶甜甜圈小蛋糕关东煮水果捞烤鸡翅的港湾。

十八、一个男子站在海边，对着大海说：啊，母亲。这时一个巨浪打来，把男子打倒，男子躺在海滩上，吐着沙子说：呸，后妈！

十九、当生活心怀歹毒地将一切都搞成了黑色幽默，我顺水推舟把自己变成了一个受过高等教育的流氓。

二十、没钱的时候，在家里吃野菜，有钱的时候，在酒店吃野菜。

二一、别人上车练车，第一句话都是小声嘀咕道“打火，踩离合，挂档，松离合，走起。”而我上车练车，第一句话一般都是大声先喊一句“都闪开！闪开！闪开！”

二二、小时候，虽然穷，但是很快乐，现在不同啦，不仅穷，还不快乐。

二三、女人说到底还是感性的，对各种小动物毫无免疫力，例如布加迪威龙，悍马，捷豹，陆虎，宝马等，当然，还有天猫。

二四、刚才看到一个身影很像你，我疯了似地追上去，才想起这个城市没有你，我停下了脚步。放下了手中的砖头，差点打错人了。

超搞笑的英语翻译/中式翻译说说

1.You h*e seed I will give you some color to see see, brothers！together up！ 你有种，我要给你点颜色瞧瞧，兄弟们，一起上！

2.One day is your teacher, day day is your father.一日为师终身为父。

3.Make my heart peng peng peng.怦然心动

4.One car come, one car go, two car pengpeng, one car died! (关于一场车祸的描述)

5.No care three seven two ten one. 不管三七二十一

6.* a big knife before Guan Gong 关公面前耍大刀

7.We two who and who？ 咱俩谁跟谁阿！

8.If you want money,I h*e no;if you want life,I h*e one! 要钱没有，要命一条

9.Know is know ，no know is no know，is know 也. 知之为知之，不知为不知，是知也

10.World sing how learn 我的心好冷

11.Husband and wife lung slice.夫妻肺片

12.Chinese dream flying nine days.中国梦飞九天

13.Dangqi dream , I h*e the power.荡起梦想，我有力量

14.As far as you go to die.有多远，死多远！

​

15.Hello everybody! if you h*e something to say, then say! if you h*e nothing to say, go home! 有事起奏，无事退朝