搞笑又污的英语句子

关于搞笑的中式英语句子

关于搞笑的中式英语句子

　　在生活、工作和学*中，大家肯定对各类句子都很熟悉吧，句子的组成部分，包括主语、谓语、宾语、定语、状语、补语六种。句子的类型多样，你所见过的句子是什么样的呢？以下是小编收集整理的搞笑的中式英语句子，希望能够帮助到大家。

　　01．we two who and who？

　　咱俩谁跟谁阿

　　02．how are you ? how old are you?

　　怎么是你，怎么老是你？

　　03．you don`t bird me,I don`t bird you

　　你不鸟我，我也不鸟你

　　04．you have seed I will give you some color to see see,brothers! together up!

　　你有种，我要给你点颜色瞧瞧，兄弟们，一起上！

　　05．hello everybody!if you have something to say,then say!if you have nothing to say,go home!

　　有事起奏，无事退朝

　　06．you me you me

　　彼此彼此

　　07．You Give Me Stop!

　　你给我站住！

　　08．know is know noknow is noknow

　　知之为知之，不知为不知……

　　09．WATCH SISTER

　　表妹

　　10．dragon born dragon,chicken born chicken,mouse'son can make hole!

　　龙生龙，凤生凤，老鼠的.儿子会打洞！

　　11．American Chinese not enough

　　美中不足

　　12．one car come one car go,two car pengpeng,people die

　　车祸现场描述

　　13．heart flower angry open

　　心花怒放

　　14．go past no mistake past

　　走过路过，不要错过

　　15．小明：I am sorry!

　　老外：I am sorry too!

　　小明：I am sorry three!

　　老外：What are you sorry for?

　　小明：I am sorry five!

　　16．If you want money,I have no;

　　if you want life,I have one!

　　要钱没有，要命一条

　　17．I call Li old big.toyear 25.

　　我叫李老大，今年25。

　　18．you have two down son。

　　你有两下子

　　19．as far as you go to die

　　有多远，死多远！

　　20．I give you face you don``t wanna face,you lose you face,I turn my face

　　给你脸你不要脸，你丢脸，我翻脸

　　21.no three no four

　　不三不四

　　22.seven up eight down

　　七上八下

　　1.Know is know,no know is no know,it's know.知之为知之，不知为不知，是知也。

搞笑英语句子

搞笑英语句子

　　在现实生活或工作学*中，许多人对一些广为流传的句子都不陌生吧，句子是由词或词组构成的语言基本运用单位。句子的类型有很多，你都知道吗？下面是小编为大家整理的搞笑英语句子，欢迎阅读，希望大家能够喜欢。

　　01. 人生的最大遗憾莫过于错误地坚持了不该坚持的，轻易地放弃了不该放弃的……

　　The most regret ion of live is insist on something that shouldn’t be insisted on,give up something that shouldn’t be given up

　　02. 大师兄，你知道吗?二师兄的肉现在比师傅的都贵了。

　　Tang Monk/Tang Priest,don’t you know piggy is more valuable than you? (The Pilgrimage to the West)

　　03. 怀才就像怀孕，时间长了才能看出来。

　　Having knowledge likes having pregnant,it takes times to be awareness.

　　04. 还能冲动，表示你还对生活有激情，总是冲动，表示你还不懂生活。

　　If you acts on impulse,you have passions in life,if you always acts on impulse,you don’t know what life is.

　　05. 我问一个在深圳工作了二十年的朋友：“如果你死后，你的墓志铭打算写点啥?”他说：“我解决了住房问题!”

　　I asked a question to a friend who has been working in Shenzhen for 20 years,what would be the proudest things in your life if you died? He said:I have already pay back the mortgage loan of my department.

　　06. 妈妈说人最好不要错过两样东西，最后一班回家的车和一个深爱你的人。

　　Mom said you’d better not miss two things ,the last bus to home and the person who loves you dee*.

　　07. 一天看到一位大妈在烧纸，边烧边嘟囔着：收到了全都买基金吧。

　　One day I saw a old woman was burning paper money and mumbled:buy funds if you get it.

　　08. 好的爱情是你透过一个男人看到世界，坏的爱情是你为了一个人舍弃世界……

　　A good love is you find the world for a man;a bad love is you abandon the world for a man.

　　09. 诸葛亮出山前，也没带过兵!凭啥我就要工作经验?

　　Before Liang Zhuge coming out,he didnt have experience in leading the army! why i should have experience when look for a job?

　　10. 如果你看到面前的阴影，别怕，那是因为你的背后有阳光……

　　If you saw the dark in front of you,dont be afriad,that's because sunshine is at your back.

　　1.Money is not everything.There‘s Mastercard & Visa.

　　2.One should love animals.They are so tasty.

　　3.Love the neighbor.But don‘t get caught.

　　4.Behind every successful man,there is a woman.And behind every unsuccessful man,there are two.

　　5.Every man should marry.After all,happiness is not the only thing in life.

　　6.The wise never marry,And when they marry they become otherwise.

　　7.Success is a relative term.It brings so many relatives.

　　8.Never put off the work till tomorrow what you can put off today.

　　9.Love is photogenic.It needs darkness to develop.

　　10.Children in backseats cause accidents.Accidents in backseats cause children.

　　11."Your future depends on your dreams." So go to sleep.

　　12.There should be a better way to start a day than waking up every morning.

　　13."Hard work never kills anybody." But why take the risk? "

　　14."Work fascinates me." I can look at it for hours! "

　　15.God made relatives;Thank God we can choose our friends.

　　16.When two‘s company,three‘s the result!

　　17.A dress is like a barbed fence.It protects the premises without restricting the view.

　　18.Themore you learn,the more you know,The more you know,the more youforget.The more you forget,the less you know.So why bother to learn.

　　1、 When did you watch television？

　　2、 Robert bought a new bookcase last month.

　　3、 Did you watch the match last night？

　　4、 He arrived the week before last.

　　5、 The train was nine minutes late.

　　6、 Did you wash your hands before the meal？

　　7、 I arrived here one hour ago.

　　8、 You missed the last train.

　　1. Sometimes love is not enough when the road gets tough.

　　有时候，当生活的路越来越艰难时，只有爱就不够了。

　　2. The best kind of feelings in life are the ones you can't explain.

环境污染的英语句子

1、许多河流，尤其是流经城市的河流，往往很脏。水面上漂移着垃圾，连水里的鱼吃起来都有一股怪味。

Many rivers, especially the river flows through the city, often dirty. A garbage floating on the water, even the fish in the water to eat h*e a strange smell.

2、亚美比亚美索比达*原回馈今人的尽是赤烈熏蒸的漫漫黄沙，谁能遥想这不毛之地竟孕育了灿若星河的两河文明呢？

Asian American than Asian American cable today is plain ratio feedback trinley fumigation sand, who can think this actually g*e birth to gally Canruo Galaxy Mesopotamia?

3、一片绿洲、一方净土、看不到，很多车鸣、很多喧嚣、听得到。

An oasis, a pure land, can not see, countless car sound, countless noisy, heard.

4、影影绰绰的群山像是一个睡意未醒的仙女，披着蝉翼般的薄纱，脉脉含情，凝眸不语。

The shadowy mountains like a sleepy unawakened fairy, wearing a Chanyi gauze, with nothing very much enamored.

5、水面上漂移着垃圾，连水里的鱼吃起来都有一股怪味。这些都是因为河水被污染而造成的。

A garbage floating on the water, even the fish in the water to eat h*e a strange smell. All of these are caused by the pollution of the river.

6、世界上最远的距离不是生与死，而是我在上海街头牵着你的手，却看不见你。

The furthest distance in the world is not between life and death, but when I hold your hand in the streets of Shanghai, but I can't see you.

7、往日小河微波荡漾，是动植物最要好的朋友，今天小河却浑浊不堪，臭气熏天。

Old river microw*e clear, animals and plants are best friends, today is muddy creek, stinking.

8、生态环境也遭受着严峻破坏，大量森林被砍伐，洪涝滑坡等灾难时常发生，水土流失，气候异常等。

The ecological environment has also suffered serious damage, a large number of forests h*e been cut down, floods and landslides and other disasters often occur, soil erosion, climate anomalies and so on.

9、河水污染非常严峻，气味奇臭，沿河有许多小鱼死掉了。循河而上，原来武当屠宰厂有两个排污口，直排污水进入河流。

River water pollution is very serious, the smell of strange smell, along the river there are many small fish died. Along the river, the original Wudang slaughter factory has two sewage outfall, sewage straight into the river.

10、在我的家乡有一条洁净、清亮的小河，它的名字叫做玉带河，可是*几年来玉带河的水越来越黑，并有垃圾，还发出臭味。

There is a clean, clear river in my hometown, it is called the Yudai River, but in recent years the jade river water more and more black, and there is also garbage, stink.

11、造纸厂的废水污染了河，河水变黑发臭，隔岸可闻，鱼自然绝了迹，家乡的河一时成了臭河，成了大地的疬痕。

The pollution of wastewater by the river, black river shore to smell, smell, no trace of natural fish, the river in my hometown has become a smelly river, into the earth scrfofula mark.

12、扬沙满天飞，臭水四处流，我们的地球越来越像一个没人管的脏孩子。

Sand everywhere, smelly water flows everywhere, our earth more and more like a dirty boy nobody.

13、一路走来，我只看到被污染的、墨黑的河水，没有发觉河水里有水草，也很少看到河边有树木。

Along the way, I only see the polluted, black river, found no water in the river, h*e seldom seen trees by the river.

14、沙漠日趋逼*，对*在咫尺的历史名城敦煌来说绝不再高不可攀。

The desert is approaching, close to the historical city of Dunhuang, it is no longer impossible.

15、河水不像以前那样洁净了，上面飘着一些死鱼和一些垃圾。

The water wasn't clean, floating above some dead fish and some ru*ish.

16、原本清亮见底的小河，还能看到成群的鱼儿游来游去，如今只剩浑浊一片。

Originally clear the bottom of the river, but also to see groups of fish swim to swim, and now only a muddy.

17、大河里浊浪滚滚，水面上的垃圾五颜六色，腥臭不堪，随波逐流。

The river Zhuolang rolling on the surface of the garbage rancid, drift riotous with colour.

18、烟雾缭绕中将健康吞噬，吞云吐雾中将肺脏染黑，烟气袅袅中将环境污染，一吸一抽中将疾病唤来。

The smoke will be healthy in black smoke engulfed the lungs, smoke curl in environmental pollution, a disease called a smoke.

19、清初秦-晋地区是高森林覆盖率的葱绿之地，可今天呈现在世人面前的只有那沟壑纵横的贫瘠黄土，千疮百孔伤痕累累。

In the early Qing Dynasty Qin Jin area is high forest coverage rate of green land, can today show in front of the world only the r*ines of barren loess, scarred in a disastrous state.

20、整个市上空都被层层的烟雾笼罩着，人不仅能感遭到天气的闷热，而且熏得人眼都睁不开。

All over the city are the layers of smoke shrouded, people not only feel the hot weather, and make eyes open.

21、贪欲的人类，不知道珍惜自己赖以生息的家园，无休止的过渡开发，使原本茂盛的森林，变成濯濯童山，鸟兽已无栖息之处。

The greedy man, don't know to cherish their home living homes, transition development endless, the dense forest, become bare, and h*e no place to live in.

22、遛狗不见狗，狗绳提在手；见绳不见手，狗叫我才走。

The dog does not see the dog, the dog rope in the hand; see the rope does not see the hand, the dog before I go.

23、布满的毒气、刺耳的噪音、浓厚的灰尘，这让人不堪忍耐，且严峻损害到居住在这的人们的身体健康。

The poisonous gas, harsh noise, thick dust, which makes people unbearable, and seriously damage the health of people living in it.

24、亚洲最大的沙漠水库已干涸见底，民勤岌岌可危。

Asia's largest desert reservoir has been dry, Minqin in jeopardy.

25、现在，由于人们的乱丢乱弃，小河变得臭气熏天。垃圾、草叶漂满了水面，再也没有人在那游泳、嬉戏。

Now, because people littering, the river becomes stink. Garbage, grass full of floating water, no one to * in the swimming.

26、路上、垃圾一大堆，空中、灰尘满天飞。

雷人搞笑英语笑话

雷人搞笑英语笑话（通用12篇）

　　笑话是指一句短语或一个小故事让说话者和听者之间觉得好笑，下面是小编收集整理的雷人搞笑英语笑话（通用12篇），希望大家喜欢。

　　At a pre-med university in St. Louis, we had to take a difficult class in physics. One day the professor was discussing a particularly complicated concept. A student rudely interrupted to ask Why do we have to learn this stuff?

　　To save lives. The professor responded quickly and continued the lecture. A few minutes later, the same student spoke up again. So how does physics save lives? he persisted. It usually keeps the idiots like you out of medical school, replied the professor.

　　在圣路易斯的一所医学院预科大学，学生必须修一门很难的物理课。一天，教授正在探讨一个特别复杂的概念，一个学生粗鲁地打断他的话，问道：为什么我们一定要学这种东西?

　　为了救人。教授很快回答，继续讲课。几分钟后，那个学生再次大声坚持：那么物理怎么救人呢?教授回答：它通常可以把你这种笨蛋赶出医学院。

　　Peter joined the army when he was eighteen, and for several months he was taught how to be a good soldier. He did quite well in everything except shooting.

　　One day he and his friends were practicing their shooting, and all of them were doing quite well except Peter. After he had shot at the target nine times and had not hit it once, the officer who was trying to teach the young soldiers to shoot said, You're quite hopeless, Peter! Don't waste your last bullet too! Go behind that wall and shoot yourself with it!

　　Peter felt ashamed. He went behind the wall, and a few seconds later the officer and the other young soldiers heard the sound of a shot.

　　Heavens! The officer said. Has that silly man really shot himself?

　　He ran behind the wall anxiously, but Peter was all right. I'm sorry, sir, he said, but I missed again.

　　彼得十八岁那年参了军，他需要参加几个月的学*以成为一名好士兵。彼得在其他方面都做得很好，但是射击不行。

　　一天他和伙伴们练*射击，除了彼得其他人都没有问题。他射了九次，一次也没有命中目标。这时，教新兵射击的教官说：彼得，你看来是没希望了，不要连最后一发子弹都浪费掉!去那堵墙后面用它向自己打一枪吧。

　　彼得感到非常惭愧。他走到那堵墙后面。几分钟后，教官和新兵们听到一声枪响。

　　上帝!教官叫起来，难道那个笨蛋真的朝自己开枪了?

　　他急忙跑到那堵墙后面，发现彼得安然无恙。对不起，长官，他说，我还是没有命中。

　　A patient said to his doctor, "Doc, please give me something that will stimulate me, excite me, and put me in a, very, very highly stimulated spirit, a fighting, excited spirit."

　　So the doctor said, "Don't worry, take this, and after you see the bill, you will have all these feelings."

　　病人跟医生说：“医生，请给我一些可以振奋、刺激、充满斗志的药。”

　　医生说：“别担心，这个拿去，看到这张帐单以后，你要的这些就都会有了。”

　　Three turtles decided to have a cup of coffee.

　　三只乌龟决定去喝咖啡。

　　Just as they got into the cafe, it started to rain.

　　它们刚到咖啡店的门口，就下起雨来。

　　The biggest turtle said to the smallest one, " Go home and get the umbrella."

　　于是最大的`那只乌龟对最小的乌龟说，“你回家去取伞吧。”

　　The little turtle replied, "I will, if you don't drink my offee."

　　最小的乌龟说，“如果你们不把我的咖啡喝了，我就去。”

　　"We won't," the other two promised.

　　“我们不喝，”另外两只乌龟答应说。

　　Two years later the big turtle said to the middle turtle, "Well, I guess he isn't coming back, so we might as well drink his coffee."

　　两年后，大乌龟对中乌龟说，“好吧，我猜他肯定不回来了，我们可以把它的咖啡喝掉了。”

　　Just then a voice called from outside the door, "If you do, I won't go."

　　正在这时，一个声音从门外传来，“你们要是喝了，我就不去。”

　　The notorious cheap skate finally decided to have a party. Explaining to a friend how to find his apartment, he said, "Come up to the fifth floor and ring the doorbell with your elbow. When the door open, push with your foot."

　　"Why use my elbow and foot?"

　　"Well, gosh," was the re*, "You're not coming empty-handed, are you?"

　　一个声名狼藉的小气鬼终于决定要请一次客了。他在向一个朋友解释怎么找到他家时说：“你上到五楼，用你的胳膊肘按门铃。门开了后，再用你的脚把门推开。”

　　“为什么我要用我的肘和脚呢?”

　　“天哪!” 吝啬鬼回答，“你总不会空着手来吧?”

　　"So you want another day off,”snorted the teacher to his student，Tom.“I am anxious to hear what excuse you have this time. You have been off for your grandfather's funeral four times already.”

　　“这么说，你又要请一天假，”老师怒气冲冲地对他的学生汤姆说，“我倒想知道你这次找什么借口。你已经请了四次假说去参加你爷爷的葬礼。”

　　Tom replied，"Today my grandma is getting married again.”

　　汤姆回答说:“今天是我奶奶再次举行婚礼。”

　　Midway Tactics

　　Three competing store owners rented adjoining shops in a mall. Observers waited for mayhem to ensue.

　　The retailer on the right put up huge signs saying, "Gigantic Sale!" and "Super Bargains!"

　　The store on the left raised bigger signs proclaiming, "Prices Slashed!" and "Fantastic Discounts!"

　　The owner in the middle then prepared a large sign that sim* stated, "ENTRANCE".

　　中间战术

　　三个互相争生意的商店老板在一条商业街上租用了毗邻的店铺。旁观者等着瞧好戏。

英语搞笑话剧剧本

英语搞笑话剧剧本（精选5篇）

　　在参加英语文化活动时，我们可以准备一个英语话剧，表演给大家看。以下是小编精心准备的英语搞笑话剧剧本，大家可以参考以下内容哦！

　　甲:Hello,every one, have you ever seen the movie? Yeah, you are right, I'm the director-- Cameron Diaz, applaud , thank you....Recently, I will direct a new movie called < Avatar 2 >, today, there will be a audition and I will select three actresses who can get the chance to perform in this film with famous actress---Anne Hathaway,OK, let's begin. At first , talent show, number one, let's welcome.

　　乙:(风情万种,妖娆妩媚地走进来,给观众一个飞吻):oh,honey,dear,sweet,darling director, the most beautiful charming, sexy girl is coming , every body knows me, right? Yeah, I'm Nicole Kidman, open your eyes as big as you can and hold your breath, there will be a unique, fantastic dance show for you, I believe that all of you will be crazy about it ,(打个响指) come some music.(搞笑舞,自由发挥). (跳完,鞠躬,向观众谢幕), thank you,(面向导演), honey, is it a wonderful performance?

　　甲:(作目瞪口呆状),

　　乙:(在甲眼前晃手),oh, darling, are you Ok?

　　甲:eh...my god, have you use some stimulant drugs this morning, you make my nerves nervous. Get out , next one.

　　乙:oh no ...sweet ,you break my heart...(掩面离去)

　　丙:oh it seems to be serious. God bless me(画个十字架,镇定地走到甲面前,伸出手), nice to meet you, director.

　　甲:(与之握手),nice to meet you too,so, introduce yourself please.

　　丙:I'm Celine Dion, you know, I don't have too many achievements, I just won five Grammy awards, 12 World Music Awards, 7 American Music Awards , 21 Juno Awards and(做沉思状) oh, I forget it , a Oscar Award, (同学鼓掌,乙作安抚状),oh, calm down, calm down,it's just a piece of cake for me ,you know, I....

　　甲:ok ,stop, time is limited, just begin

　　丙:OK!!! I'll use my first signature song to conquer you --my heart will go on, just enjoy it.

　　near, far, wherever you are

　　i believe that the heart does go on

　　once more, you opened the door(甲stop stop,丙不理,继续作深情状)

　　and you're here in my heart,

　　and my heart will go on and on.

　　甲:guard ,guard,help,drag this mad woman out.

　　Oh, I'm dying,hope the next one will give me a surprise

　　丁:(对着乙的背影,沉思状)to be,or not to be,it's a question!(走到甲面前牵起她的手做亲吻状),I'm glad to see you,my dear princess.

　　甲(做娇羞状):oh, it's really a big surprise,so what's your name?

　　丁:My name? Oh, wait a minute. Do you know Trish Regan?(甲,白痴的摇头),eh..,it's ok,then how about Robin Meade?(摇头),and Melissa Theuriau?(摇头),(丁,情绪激动),you know nothing, how can you sit in here.

　　甲(指门,气愤状),you you you.....

　　丁:ok ok, it doesn't matter, you needn't learn about them, but you must know me, the most famous hostess who will catch up with those person and become the greatest poet---oprah!

　　甲:I don't care who you are, just show me your talent.

　　丁:ok ,listen,one poem,I have had found my best love, but I didn’t treasure her. When I lost her, I regret. It’s the most pain in the world. If God can give me another chance, I will say there words to her “I love you”!

　　甲(起鸡皮疙瘩状):oh, I can't stand, show you the door,

　　丁(转身离开,继续台词):If there is a time limit, I hope, it is (回头,对甲)10 thousand years.

　　甲:oh, it's really a terrible ,awful, horrible day,why it is such difficult to find an excellent actress.Oh, I'm dying,you three, come here,

　　三人跑进来,乙妩媚状:honey, you like my dance,right?

　　丙镇静状:director,you like my singing,right?

　　丁深情状:princess,you like my poet,right?

　　三人同声:we are past,right?

　　甲:eh..Thank you for your eh..Wonderful performance,but,I'm sorry to tell you ....(接电话) What? Nobody comes here except they three,oh...god.(挂电话,低头),you three,(抬头),pass!

　　三人欢呼,说:we make it,we are superstar!

　　乙(甜蜜状):that's very sweet of you,we love you so much(飞个吻)

　　甲:you know, you are not good enough now, but I'm look forward to your progress.Do you have confidence?

　　三人齐答:yes,we do!

　　甲伸手,三人搭上,同声,fight,fight,fight!

　　人物：追星A, 追星B，追星C，明星，车主 旁白 经纪人

　　旁白：A girl is crazy about a star called Handsome+人名. Even when she is asleep, she can dream that man.

　　A：(打哈欠)，I need to go to bed, I’m so sleepy.(打哈欠)——边走边说 （趴在讲台上睡）

　　（进入梦乡）

　　旁白：In her dream……

　　(上台摆两个凳子，A做一个)

　　A：Oh, it’s a fine day. (假装看天) (然后突然不经意的拿起一本书翻看)

　　明星：(上台)：Oh, it’s a fine day. (然后坐凳子)

　　(A看着看着书，就不经意的往旁边看，然后再看看书，突然感觉不对劲，在意外的往旁边看，看到了自己最喜爱的.那个明星，十分激动，不敢相信这是真的)

　　A：Are you … are you that … super star?(激动地说不出话)

　　明星：（随意的回答） Yes, what’s wrong?

微笑英语句子

　　1、The woman went out and forgot to make-up, the best remedy is to show your smile.

　　女人出门若忘了化妆，最好的补救方法便是亮出你的微笑。

　　2、Life is a mirror.When you smile in front of it ,it will also smile and so will it when you cry to it.

　　生活是一面镜子，你对它笑，它也会对你笑;你对它哭，它也会对你哭。

　　3、A smile is the language has multiple meanings.

　　微笑乃是具有多重意义的语言。

　　4、You smiled and talked to me of nothing and I felt that for this , I had been waiting long.

　　你微微地笑着，不和我说什么话。而我觉得，为了这个，我已等待很久了。

　　5、With a smile the speaker, to bear the responsibility.

　　只用微笑说话的人，才能担当重任。

　　6、With smile, failure, with strong to create happiness!

　　用微笑诠释失败，用坚强创造幸福!

　　7、Life is faced with a true smile, is watching over the obstacles in the future.

　　生活就是面对真实的微笑，就是越过障碍注视将来。

　　8、Try to make at least three people smile each day.

　　试着每天至少让三个人微笑。

　　9、When life gives you a hundred reasons to cry, show life that you h*e a thousand reasons to smile.

　　生活给你100个伤心的原因，你就还它1000个微笑的理由。

　　10、The smile is faint, the light cloud, knead in sadness.

　　这笑也是淡淡的，轻云一样，揉在惆怅里。

　　11、Life, is a colorful picture, the smile is a beautiful color.

　　生活，是一幅多彩的图画，微笑是画中一抹亮丽的色彩。

　　12、When life give you a hundred reasons to cry, show life that you h*e a thousand reasons to smile.

　　当生活给你一百个理由哭泣时，你就拿出一千个理由笑给它看。

　　13、Better by far you should forget and smile than that you should remember and be sad.

　　与其伤心回忆，不如微笑遗忘。

　　14、I smile, continue to pride.

　　我用微笑，继续骄傲。

　　15、Don't go for looks;they can deceive. Don't go for wealth; even that fades away. Find the one that makes your heart smile.

　　不要只追求漂亮的外表，它会欺骗你的眼睛;不要只追求财富，那只不过是过眼云烟;追寻那个让你内心微笑的人。

　　16、Love begins with a smile, grows with a kiss, ends with a tear.

　　爱情是以微笑开始，以吻生长，以泪结束。

　　17、The face of light, shadow just behind us.

　　面对光明，阴影就在我们身后。

　　18、There's nothing more beautiful than a smile that struggles through tears.

　　世上最美的，莫过于从泪水中挣脱出来的那个微笑。

　　19、Sunshine and flowers in the philosophical smile, the sad and painful sigh in the pessimistic.

　　阳光和鲜花在达观的微笑里，凄凉与痛苦在悲观的叹息中。

史上最强最搞笑的*式英语笑话

史上最强最搞笑的*式英语笑话

　　英语小笑话作为一种城市化的民间口头创作体裁,是一种重要的交际手段。下面是小编帮大家整理的史上最强最搞笑的*式英语笑话作文，欢迎阅读与收藏。

　　1.we two who and who?

　　咱俩谁跟谁阿

　　2. how are you ? how old are you?

　　怎么是你，怎么老是你?

　　3. you don't bird me,I don't bird you

　　你不鸟我，我也不鸟你

　　4. you have seed I will give you some color to see see, brothers !together

　　你有种，我要给你点颜色瞧瞧，兄弟们，一起上!

　　5. hello everybody!if you have something to say,then say!if you have

　　nothing to say,go home!!

　　有事起奏，无事退朝

　　6.what is IMU3.0? it is a kind of chat tool!

　　什么是IMU3.0?IMU3.0 是一种聊天工具!

　　7. You Give Me Stop!!

　　你给我站住!

　　8. know is know noknow is noknow

　　知之为知之，不知为不知…

　　9. WATCH SISTER

　　表妹

　　10. American Chinese not enough

　　美中不足

　　11. heart flower angry open

　　心花怒放

　　12. go past no mistake past

　　走过路过，不要错过

　　13. 小明：I am sorry!

　　老外：I am sorry too!

　　小明：I am sorry three!

　　老外：What are you sorry for?

　　小明：I am sorry five!

　　14. If you want money,I have no;if you want life,I have one!

　　要钱没有，要命一条

　　15. I call Li old big. toyear 25.

　　我叫李老大，今年25。

　　16. you have two down son。

　　你有两下子。

　　17. as far as you go to die

　　有多远，死多远!!!!

　　18. I give you face you don''t wanna face,you lose you face ,I turn my face.

　　给你脸你不要脸，你丢脸，我翻脸

　　A PresentKate: Mom, do you know what I"m going to give you for your birthday?

　　Mom: No, Honey, what?

　　Kate: A nice teapot.

　　Mom: But I"ve got a nice teapot.

　　Kate: No, you haven"t. I"ve just dropped it.

　　凯特的礼物

　　凯特：妈妈，你知道我要给你一件什么生日礼物吗？

　　妈妈：不知道，宝贝，是什么呀？

　　凯特：一把漂亮的茶壶。

搞笑的英文句子

　　WhatIwant，isshameless.Whattoeat，isnotlose.搞笑的英文句子还有哪些呢？下面由美文网小编带来的搞笑的英文句子，欢迎阅读！

　　搞笑的英文句子精选

　　01.人生的最大遗憾莫过于错误地坚持了不该坚持的，轻易地放弃了不该放弃的……

　　Themostregretionofliveisinsistonsomethingthatshouldn’tbeinsistedon，giveupsomethingthatshouldn’tbegivenup

　　02.大师兄，你知道吗？二师兄的肉现在比师傅的都贵了。

　　TangMonk/TangPriest，don’tyouknowpiggyismorevaluablethanyou？(ThePilgrimagetotheWest)

　　03.怀才就像怀孕，时间长了才能看出来。

　　H*ingknowledgelikesh*ingpregnant，ittakestimestobeawareness.

　　04.还能冲动，表示你还对生活有激情，总是冲动，表示你还不懂生活。

　　Ifyouactsonimpulse，youh*epassionsinlife，ifyoualwaysactsonimpulse，youdon’tknowwhatlifeis.

　　05.我问一个在深圳工作了二十年的朋友：“如果你死后，你的墓志铭打算写点啥？”他说：“我解决了住房问题！”

　　IaskedaquestiontoafriendwhohasbeenworkinginShenzhenfor20years，whatwouldbetheproudestthingsinyourlifeifyoudied？Hesaid:Ih*ealreadypaybackthemortgageloanofmydepartment.

　　06.妈妈说人最好不要错过两样东西，最后一班回家的车和一个深爱你的人。

　　Momsaidyou’dbetternotmisstwothings，thelastbustohomeandthepersonwholovesyoudee*.

　　07.一天看到一位大妈在烧纸，边烧边嘟囔着：收到了全都买基金吧~~

　　OnedayIsawaoldwomanwasburningpapermoneyandmumbled:buyfundsifyougetit.

　　08.好的爱情是你透过一个男人看到世界，坏的爱情是你为了一个人舍弃世界……

　　Agoodloveisyoufindtheworldforaman;abadloveisyouabandontheworldforaman.

　　09.诸葛亮出山前，也没带过兵！凭啥我就要工作经验？

　　BeforeLiangZhugecomingout，hedidnth*eexperienceinleadingthearmy！whyishouldh*eexperiencewhenlookforajob？

　　10.如果你看到面前的阴影，别怕，那是因为你的背后有阳光……

　　Ifyousawthedarkinfrontofyou，dontbeafriad，that'sbecausesunshineisatyourback.

　　开心学英语，开心生活！H*eaniceday！

　　搞笑的英文九库说说

　　1、Thewisenevermarry，Andwhentheymarrytheybecomeotherwise.

　　聪明人都是未婚的，结婚的人很难再聪明起来。

　　2、Whentwo'scompany，three'stheresult！

　　两个人的状态是不稳定的，三个人才是！

　　3、Successisarelativeterm.Itbrings*nyrelatives.

　　成功是一个相关名词，他会给你带来很多不相关的亲戚(联系)。

　　4、Themoreyoulearn，themoreyouknow，Themoreyouknow，themoreyouforget.Themoreyouforget，thelessyouknow.Sowhybothertolearn.

　　学的越多，知道的越多，知道的越多，忘记的越多，忘记的越多，知道的越少，为什么学来着？

　　5、S*ewater.Showerwithyourgirlfriend.

　　要节约用水，尽量和女友一起洗澡。

　　6、Thereshouldbeabetterwaytostartadaythanwakingupeverymorning.

　　应该有更好的方式开始新一天，而不是千篇一律的在每个上午都醒来。

　　7、Godmaderelatives;ThankGodwecanchooseourfriends.

　　神决定了谁是你的亲戚，幸运的是在选择朋友方面他给了你留了余地。

　　8、Adressislikeabarbedfence.Itprotectsthepremiseswithoutrestrictingtheview.

　　服饰就象铁丝网，它阻止你贸然行动但并不妨碍你尽情的观看。

　　9、“Hardworkneverkilledanybody.”Butwhytaketherisk？“

　　”努力工作不会导致死亡！“不过我不会用自己去证明。

　　10、Everymanshouldmarry.Afterall，happinessisnottheonlythinginlife.

　　再快乐的单身汉迟早也会结婚，幸福不是永久的嘛。

　　11、Oneshouldloveanimals.Theyaresotasty.

　　每个人都应该热爱动物，因为它们很好吃。

　　12、Behindeverysuccessfulman，thereisawoman.Andbehindeveryunsuccessfulman，therearetwo.

　　每个成功男人的背后，都有一个女人。每个不成功男人的背后，都有两个。

　　13、Childreninbackseatscauseaccidents.Accidentsinbackseatscausechildren.

　　后排座位上的小孩会生出意外，后排座位上的意外会生出小孩。

　　14、Loveisphotogenic.Itneedsdarknesstodevelop.

英语演讲开场白台词搞笑

英语演讲开超级总结版：欢迎听众(正式)-Welcometoourcompany-Iampleasedtobeabletowelcomeyoutoourcompany...-I'dliketothankyouforcoming.-MayItakethisopportunityofthankingyouforcoming欢迎(非正式)-I'mgladyoucouldallgethere...-I'mgladtosee*nypeoplehere.-It'sGREattobebackhere.-Helloagaineverybody.Thankyouforbeingontime/makingtheefforttocometoday.-WelcometoXPartII.受邀请在会致词-Iamdelighted/pleased/gladtoh*etheopportunitytopresent/ofmakingthispresentation...-Iamgratefulfortheopportunitytopresent...-I'dliketothankyouforinviting/askingme/givingmethechanceto...-Goodmorning/afternoon/eveningladiesandgentleman-It'smypleasantdutytodayto...-I'vebeenaskedto...告知演讲的话题-thesubjectofmypresentationis...-Ishallbespeakingtodayabout...-Mypresentationconcerns...-Today'stopicis...-Todayweareheretogiveapresentationon...-Todayweareheretotalkabout...Beforewestart,I'dlikeyoumeetmyteammembers...-Abrieflookattoday'sagenda...(告诉听众所讲内容的先后顺序)-Beforewestartourpresentation,let'stakeabrieflookattheagenda..

1985年底，全国写作协会在深圳罗湖区举行年会。

开幕式上，省、市各级有关领导论资排辈，逐一发言祝贺。

轮到罗湖区党委*发言时，开幕式已进行了很长时间。

于是他这样说：“首先，我代表罗湖区委和区*，对各位专家学者表示热烈的欢迎。

”掌声过后，稍事停顿，他又响亮地说：“最后，我预祝大会圆满成功。

我的话完了。

”他以迅雷不及掩耳之势结束了演讲。

听众开始也是一愣，随后，即爆发出欢快的掌声。

因为，从“首先”一下子跳到“最后”，中间省去了其次、第三、第四……这样的讲话，如天外来石，出人预料，达到了石破天惊的幽默效果，确实是风格独具，心裁别出。

一、概括某大学中文系一次毕业生茶话会，首先是系党总支*讲话，三分钟的即兴讲话主要是向毕业生表示祝贺。

然后是彭教授讲话，主题是希望同学们继续努力学*，还引用了列宁的名言。

第三个讲话的潘教授朗诵了高尔基的《海燕》片断，以此勉励毕业生们学*海燕的精神。

第四个讲话的系副主任希望同学们永远记住母校和老师们。

紧接着，毕业生们欢迎王教授讲话。

在毫无准备而又难以推辞的情况下，王教授站起来，先简单地回顾了数年来与同学们交往的几个难忘片断，最后一字一顿地说：“前面几位给大家提出了殷切的希望，可我还是喜欢说他们说过的话。

(笑声)第一，我要祝同学们胜利毕业!(笑声)第二，我希望同学们‘学*、学*、再学*’。

(笑声)第三，我希望同学们像海燕一样勇敢地搏击生活的风浪。

(笑声、掌声)第四，我希望同学们不要忘记母校，不要忘记辛勤培育你们的老师们!”在这里，王教授通过对前面四个人的演讲主题的简练概括，旧瓶装新酒，不落窠臼，结束了一次机智、风趣且具有个性特点的演讲。

二、借助道具产生幽默效果结束演讲1.对比。

鲁迅先生在结束《在上海中华艺术大学的演讲》时说：“以上是我*年来对于美术界观察所得几点意见。

“今天我带来一幅中国五千年文化的结晶，请大家欣赏欣赏。

”说着，他一手伸进长袍，把一卷纸慢慢从衣襟上方伸出，打开一看，原来是一幅病态丑陋的月份牌。

顿时全场大笑。

鲁迅先生借助恰到好处的道具表演，与结束语形成鲜明的对比，极具幽默。

不仅使演讲在欢快的气氛中结束，而且使听众在笑声中进一步品味先生演讲的深意。

2.双关。

在延安的一次演讲会上，当演讲快结束时，*掏出一盒香烟，用手指在里面慢慢地摸，但掏了半天也不见掏出一支烟来，显然是抽光了。

有关人员十分着急，因为*烟瘾很大，于是有人立即动身去取烟。

*一边讲，一边继续摸着烟盒，好一会，他笑嘻嘻地掏出仅有的一支烟，夹在手指上举起来，对着大家说：“最后一条!”这个“最后一条”，*的话是最后一个问题，又是最后一支烟。

一语双关，妙趣横生，全场大笑，听众们的一点疲劳和倦意也在笑声中一扫而光了。

三、借助幽默的动作结束演讲借助幽默的动作来结束演讲，这样的例子虽很少见，但不乏珠玑。

美国诗人、文艺评论家詹姆斯·罗威尔1883年担任驻英大使时，在伦敦举行的一次晚宴上发表了一篇名为《餐后演讲》的即*演说。

搞笑语言句子大全（经典搞笑语句）

一、喜欢你的人会对你说我洗澡去了，之后还会说我洗完了，不喜欢你的人在说完我去洗澡后，仿佛消失在浴室中。

二、热恋时，情侣们常感叹上辈子积了什么德；结婚后，夫妻们常怀疑上辈子造了什么孽。

三、老婆在朋友圈发了条动态：坚持锻炼，每天3万步，棒棒哒。为了谎言不被戳穿，每天晚上让我带着她的手机去跑步，不达标不让回来。

四、我抽烟的理由很简单：我爷爷抽烟，我爸爸也抽烟，轮到我不能断了香火。

五、你们见过最土豪的是什么事？我来说一个，今天看见一人去营业厅充话费，问充多少，他瞟了营业员一眼，说：充满！

六、儿子今天来办公室耍，一女同事逗他说：好帅哟。儿子也对女同事说：姐姐好漂亮。说完他马上跑我面前认错：爸爸，对不起我又撒谎了，全公司同事笑喷了。

七、现在超想把房子卖了去旅游，可房东死活不愿意。

八、我不想再去上学了，老师整天问我这道题怎么做，那道题怎么做的，是我教他还是他教我啊！

九、那天在网上看到一条神回复，楼主抛出一个问题：请说出自己最常丢的三样东西。下面评论中有一人回答：脸，爸妈的脸，老师的脸。

十、朋友都说我是着名的音乐人，因为每次出去唱歌，他们唱的都是别人的曲调，只有我自己是现场谱曲！

十一、道理我都懂，可是听到别人喊美女的时候还是忍不住要回头。

十二、小时候比学*成绩，长大后比工资收入，现在连走个路都要比步数！放过我吧，我只想做一个与世无争的垃圾，可等我真的做了垃圾才发现，居然连垃圾都要分类！

十三、看见别人都那么努力，那么勤奋，那么意气风发地走在成功的路上，你问问自己，难道就不想成为他们的绊脚石吗？

十四、我觉得白雪公主之所以命运坎坷，是因为身边小人太多。

十五、某条街上有个乞丐，每天都在那里乞讨。一日某人忽然发现乞丐身边多了一个碗可又没人。某人好奇，便上前去问：“为什么你放两个碗？”那乞丐笑了笑道：“不知怎么滴最*生意特好，所以开了家分公司。”

十六、你们最好选择在中午秀恩爱，知道为什么吗？因为早晚会有报应。

十七、轻轻拍拍自己的小肚子，告诉它：你不胖，你只是珍珠奶茶甜甜圈小蛋糕关东煮水果捞烤鸡翅的港湾。

十八、一个男子站在海边，对着大海说：啊，母亲。这时一个巨浪打来，把男子打倒，男子躺在海滩上，吐着沙子说：呸，后妈！

十九、当生活心怀歹毒地将一切都搞成了黑色幽默，我顺水推舟把自己变成了一个受过高等教育的流氓。

二十、没钱的时候，在家里吃野菜，有钱的时候，在酒店吃野菜。

二一、别人上车练车，第一句话都是小声嘀咕道“打火，踩离合，挂档，松离合，走起。”而我上车练车，第一句话一般都是大声先喊一句“都闪开！闪开！闪开！”

二二、小时候，虽然穷，但是很快乐，现在不同啦，不仅穷，还不快乐。

二三、女人说到底还是感性的，对各种小动物毫无免疫力，例如布加迪威龙，悍马，捷豹，陆虎，宝马等，当然，还有天猫。

二四、刚才看到一个身影很像你，我疯了似地追上去，才想起这个城市没有你，我停下了脚步。放下了手中的砖头，差点打错人了。